Showing posts with label poop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poop. Show all posts

Friday, March 13, 2015

If I can make it there, I'll make it... anywhere?

NYC Poo with 'tude
Last weekend I experienced an ultimate New York moment. I am proud to add the experience to my list of quintessential New York City happenings, even though it is disgusting and something only a New Yorker could boast about... Last weekend I encountered a giant poop on the subway.

Yup. A poop. On the floor. Of a public subway car.

Are you laughing or painfully cringing (or maybe a little bit of both?!)

Most experienced NYC subway riders know that if a train pulls into the station and you notice 1 car significantly emptier than the others, there is something going awry in said car. The A/C isn't working, a person is behaving or smelling strangely, the possibilities are endless, but the result is the same - people avoid the car. Well on Sunday, I stepped quickly onto a subway car and immediately realized that the car was only half full and that half was pretty much all on one side. uh-oh. Directly across from me was a man, sitting casually on a bench all to himself, with a bandana across his nose and mouth. Double uh-oh. I notice a strange smell, not overwhelmingly unpleasant, but not great. I look right, a bunch of people... I look left, no people except bandana man. I look left and down... GIANT SH*T ON THE FLOOR. AHHHHH!!!! It is too late to exit the car, the doors have closed. I can't go right bc this is the last car of the train. To evacuate the premises I will need to go around the doodie and through to the next car. I do not pass go (but I do pass the poo!) as I scurry quickly (noticing that it looks like it came from a freakin horse and has clearly been sitting there for some time) to the door and into the next car. I briefly look back. I kind of regret not snapping a picture. I cringe and then smile, then go back to my day getting just a little bit excited to retell this story as soon as I get home. Welcome to New York.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Hump Day Distractions

Guess what day it is you sassy pink fellow you...
"I can't wait to go home and arrange these gords in our new basket!" - Thing I actually said last night. (#decorativegordseason). It's Wednesday... not Friday. Good lord someone get me to Friday. But in the meantime, let's get our hump on.

* Gloria Steinem absolutely shuts down the lame Miley Cyrus debate going on.
* Oh Restoration Hardware... you so silly.
* This seems like a craft project that just might be worth the effort (tassel-tastic!)
* Going through a bit of a skull phase... diggin this necklace.
* I own more than a few of THESE life-changers and I absolutely agree (lookin at you SodaStream!)
* From black and white to color... very cool.
* This kid is my hero. My food loving, poop-chatting, hero.

And for today's 31 Days of HalloweenHERE are 25 adorable kiddie costumes (some of my most favorites below).



Thursday, August 30, 2012

Tales from the home...

I have nowhere for you to live Oscar
I'm going to let you guys in on a funny little thing that's been going on at home. You see, when Dr. H and I came back from vacation, our apartment, specifically the kitchen, smelled AWFUL. Not just bad... I'm talkin "who the hell pooped in our trash can?" levels of stank. It was appalling. We immediately threw out the nearly empty bag in the can, Febreeze-d the sh*t out of it, opened windows, lit scented candles and hoped for the best. When I came home the next day, I learned that while I was out, Dr. H had made the executive decision to throw away our trash can. "It still smelled. It could not be saved" he said. In it's place was a J. Crew shopping bag because "Bed Bath and Beyond didn't have any good ones and it was college move-in and I couldn't be in there". Oh boy.

Initially annoyed (who lives without a trash can in their kitchen!??) 24-hours into our can-less existence, I started to have a change of heart. We have a TON of folded up shopping bags in our apartment. Trader Joe's, Kate Spade, Banana Republic... I am one of those people who hoards "good" paper bags for unspecified future use. Well, unspecified no more! With a move on the horizon, all my "good" bags likely would have been tossed, BUT, being without a trash can means they can HOLD trash instead of becoming trash! Annnnd, with small capacity and a high potential for leaks, we are taking out the trash almost nightly and generally "trashing" tidier .

Is this a totally disgusting way to exist? Possibly. Are we perfectly content to be that way? Absolutely.