Travels and Headline News

Wanderlust 4 Eva

Hello hello and welcome back to the merriest corner of the internet! After a little hiatus from blogging for some friend-filled travel and celebrations last week, I'm back to tell you where I've been lately and why you need to go there too.

First, Charleston, SC. Have you been? I visited Charleston over Labor Day weekend, staying at a rented house on Isle of Palms (one of the beach communities just outside downtown Charleston) and had an absolute blast. Charleston has beautiful homes, lovely beaches and a down south chill vibe that made it an excellent vacation destination (including for our family's little kiddos). I highly recommend renting a house near the beach (with a pool, it gets HOT!) and letting your days be a relaxing mix of beach, golf, swimming and the occasional trip into town for shopping (Charleston has awesome shopping of the boutique and designer variety) and eating (we went to Hominy Grill one night and loved everything from the shrimp and grits to the pie for dessert). There was a ton of history and exploring we didn't get to do this trip, but I guess that just means I need to go back!! A short flight from NYC, consider Charleston for your next family vacation, romantic getaway or even a bachelorette or girls trip destination!

View from Munjoy Hill, where our rental house was.

Second, Maine... Like the whole state, but this time around, specifically Portland. I have now vacationed in Maine twice (Bar Harbor last time) and I think it might be my exact-opposite-of-NYC-can-I-have-a-home-here-too favorite destination. Portland is another short trip from NYC (just a 50 minute flight) and the crisp air, gorgeous ocean/bay views and out of this world seafood make it the most refreshing place on the planet to visit. Again we rented a house (sensing a theme here!?) and I fell in love with everything from our multi-story old house, to paddleboarding on the bay, outrageously good lobster mac HERE and the general adorableness of a small city meant for exploring and enjoying on foot. I've already got plans to be back in Maine next summer and  I think this is a tradition I could get used to!!

And finally, HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS!? Thanks to an "I-just-opened-my-eyes-and-saw-your-email" from my beloved (parent)thetically speaking, I learned this morning that the royals are expecting another bundle of joy. While I wish first and foremost for Kate and Will a healthy bitty baby, I wish secondly for myself and the world for a little princess because after closely following George's adorable clothing swagger, I'd love to see what a royal lady baby would do. Congrats to the parents-to-be!!

What's in a name?

Will you play the name game?

When I got married, I did not legally change my last name. As 1 of 2 daughters of the only remaining male carrying the W family name (my Dad has sisters and daughters) my family name officially goes extinct with my generation. The very idea of this kind of breaks my heart because my name evokes feelings of my amazing Nan and Pop and all the amazing Ws before them whom I've seen in pictures and heard stories about. I've always felt that my name is my name and love and marriage doesn't really change that.

I never considered the idea of keeping my maiden name revolutionary. My aunt (my lifetime professional woman role model) also kept the W name and I work with many women who for purely professional reasons, elected to do the same. Without even getting into how antiquated it is to assume a woman will change her name upon marrying, there are plenty of modern reasons why she might choose not to. And though I love being referred to as Dr. and Mrs. H socially, I look with pride at my name on things like my business cards and passport as a symbol of the family I come from and will always be a part of... 

Which is why THIS article really got me thinking. In it, the author talks about giving her child her last name instead of her husband's which is something that frankly hadn't even occurred to me. Call me old fashioned (HA!) but I made peace with the notion that I would have a different last name than my children long before Dr. H was even in the picture... but why!? Well, because a woman keeping her last name in this day and age is (finally) not abnormal, but giving that name to kids over their father's certainly is. I get why the author talks about the decision being perceived by many as emasculating to her husband because socially most people just can't wrap their heads around such a progressive decision. I ask repeatedly if Dr. H will consider a hyphenate (partially because "hooray my name lives on" and partially because our names hyphenated sound super bad ass), but that always gets rejected (and I don't think I could have married a much more progressive, empowering man!) "I'm the man and my children shall bear my name" is simply how our culture thinks and I think it's going to be that way for a long time.

Unless, maybe it won't... Maybe as women come into careers and leadership roles, as same-sex marriage completely muddles the surname conversation and we move further away from our male-dominated culture, slowly but surely more babies will leave the hospital with birth certificates bearing their mama's name. Maybe someday choosing a last name will be as much of a conversation as choosing a first. Maybe...

Goodbye 20s

x10.

This morning I woke up 30 years old. Well if I'm being honest, I went to sleep last night (errr, very early this morning?) 30 years old. As a wise blogger once said, I've "become 30." It's funny, turning one of these "milestone ages", because people expect you to feel something about it, or to at least pause and reflect. Thankfully, I'm quite the feeler and reflector...

Looking back, my 20s were a roller coaster of epic proportions... I spent whole years living in a fantasy of friendship, fun and adventure (GDub!) and other years truly struggling to move forward towards the person my younger self felt certain I was supposed to become. I'd like to think that with every decade a person is fortunate enough to live, he/she can look back and be proud of the 10 years that went by, but I'm going to come out and make the bold statement that your 20s might be your most defining decade. My 20s taught me the incredible value of friendship, the importance of cherishing loved ones and how to cope with tremendous loss. My 20s taught me how to not get what I want, how to keep fighting for what I want and how to have confidence throughout the journey. My 20s taught me to suck it up and let it go and to get comfortable in my own skin. My 20s turned my parents and sister into my closest friends and a random guy I met at 18 into the love of my life. My 20s were a lot of hard/good/beautiful work!!

And while I'm sure my 30s will further define me, I already sense they will be different... I think (and hope!?) they will be less about me and more about all of "you". More about the family I hope to build, the relationships that fill me with love and the world I finally feel confident enough in myself to try to impact. In my 20s I did a lot of figuring things out, now I get to just "be me" and see where it all leads. And I think that sounds pretty fantastic.

Up a creek... literally (a story).

Once upon a time, long long ago, Merry Meri and her family resided on the awesomely named street of Captains Walk. After over two decades at number 1 Captains Walk, the family decided to relocate to a house along the water and it was agreed that a small memento of their previous address would fit in perfectly at their new waterfront abode... 

[Imagine what you will, but let's just say cilantro isn't the only thing my family has "helped itself to"]

Fast forward to this weekend, when Merry Meri and Dad decided to tackle the final phase of project "Captains Walk Memento": hanging said memento on the dock by the creek in the backyard ("Captains Walk" is the dock where you park your boat!? How witty!!) The project was moving along swimmingly (foreshadowing) when Meri noticed a little creature making its way up the creek, a muskrat lovingly named by the family "Muskrat Sally" (our wit knows no ends!) "Look Dad there's Muskrat Sally!"... followed moments later by a splash as distracted Dad dropped our sign into the creek. Sh*t.

Meri and Dad immediately reached for the fishing net and dangled themselves off the edge of the dock and boat attempting to recover the sign now undoubtedly sunk into the murky, muddy bottom of the creek. Eventually Mom, noting that "too long had gone by for this little project" made her way down to the dock only to find both of her determined DIY'ers hanging upside down pulling various items out of the creek (including the step stool which was knocked overboard in the chaos and a large wood plank which was discovered during the search and rescue mission).

"I have to get in!" Meri exclaimed bravely, "we cannot abandon that sign!!!" and as Mom and Dad looked (and laughed) on, armed with a pool float and boogie board, Merry Meri entered the (never willingly swam-in) creek. Squealing in equal parts over the cold temperature and the feel of the brown, goopy creek bottom, Merry Meri located the sign and used all her foot strength to begin pulling it out of the mud... Undeterred by being ankle deep in slimy creek muck and a momentary confusion of the boogie board strap for an approaching muskrat (actual screaming may have occurred), Meri pulled the sign above the surface. Once their hysterical laughter had subsided, Mom and Dad shared in the victory celebration and Dad confessed to being proud and impressed "I wouldn't have gone in there without a full wet suit!"

After several years, one questionable "relocation of town property" and a swim in the creek later, operation Captains Walk Memento is now complete. Way to go Fam :)

Family Day!

I love this.

Visitors from Hotlanta of the Bro, Sis and Niece variety mean Merry Meri is in Aunt Meri glory today. I'll make it up to you on Monday. Until then, have a wonderful weekend!!!

ps - Do you love Beyonce like I do? Do you need her like I do? If so, click HERE.
pps - a brutally honest NYC tourism ad that will CRACK you up.

Thanksgiving + Hanukkah =

This post brought to you by the fabulous 

(parent)thetically speaking.

Thanksgivukkah. Are you familiar? Ok good, glad that’s taken care of (but please please please do not brine your turkey in Manischewitz, it would be much more fitting, and tasty, to deep-fry it). To me, Thanksgivukkah is like when two of your fav movies are on 2 different channels instead of back-to-back, or if the Golden Globes and Oscars were on the same night, or like a traffic jam when you’re already late (oops, nope, sorry, lost it there for a minute). Spread the joy around a little, wouldja? I know Merry Meri and I agree that, at first, we were not so merry about these holidays overlapping.

I like my Thanksgiving - time with family, in a warm house, eating warm, yummy food and feeling blessed to have all of those things, and more, in my life. And then roughly three weeks later (give or take) our houses fill with warmth once more, this time, from the light of the Menorah at sundown. We eat fried potato latkes with sour cream (so so so good) or applesauce (also delish) and fried dough (sufganiyot). We fry, ok? It’s alllll about the oil (but isn’t everything, really?). Oh, and I watch this video multiple times daily. I love these holidays. So while the overlapping is fun, and a chance to change things up, I’m a wee bit disappointed that within a week, both holidays will be over.

But it IS once-in-a-lifetime, and next year the holiday season will be back to normal (and it’s not in my nature to be a scrooge). So, let’s celebrate! Buy the Menurkey  (g-e-n-i-u-s!) Wear the shirts! Or if you’re me and my family…

* put colorful dreidels in glass vases and DIY a mini pumpkin menorah for centerpieces

* serve chocolate gelt pecan pie!

* Pop a super cute printable into an 8x10 frame for instant décor. Oh wait…I couldn’t really find one that worked…

Soooo…I made one!¹ And I’m sharing it with you! Click the image above to open it, save it to your computer and print as an 8x10. Use it to jazz up the dessert table, or add to a mantle display, or don’t, because you’re either A. not Jewish or B. don’t believe in Pilgrims or sweet potato pie. Enjoy!

¹ I ‘designed’ this in Photoshop Elements. While this is an original, with the prevalence of Pinterest, and Etsy, and general interwebs, I’m sure that the inspiration sunk into my subconscious at some point. I also used a few fairly ubiquitous phrases that have popped up along with Thanksgivukkah.

For previous posts from (parent)thetically speaking, click HERE.

Holiday weekend hangover (of sorts)

Feeling a bit upside down today...

After a fan-freakin-tastic weekend with my kickass brother/sister-in-law and niece, Dr. H and I spent about 15 hours traveling back to NYC yesterday (not the original plan) and I brought home some toddler germ-ies with me as a souvenir. I need 5 hot minutes (or ya know, today) to get myself sorted out, so I will be back tomorrow with more of the merry musings you know and love. In the meantime, marvel at the wit of this child, who is clearly my new hero:

Child genius or ghost written by a parent with an agenda!?

But are you going to work?

This is not real life (except the heels of course).

Lately I've been doing A LOT of thinking about what my life will look like as a parent. NO I am not becoming a parent any time soon and NO I'm not developing baby brain (still purely puppy focused thank you very much) but nearly three years into my "working life" (thanks for the delayed start law school!) I've been thinking a lot about my "career track". Poised to grow in whatever direction I please professionally (for which I am thankful and grateful every.single.day.) my career compass can't help but consider whatever direction I will want to go in once raising a child becomes part of the picture. We ladies are blessed with maternal instinct and unprecedented opportunities in the work force which is a bit of curse if you're a die-hard "planner" like myself.

Much like my pondering the right time to have a baby, I wonder (without any expectation of finding an answer) how to steer a career that will someday have stiff competition for my attention from a totally-awesome (duh) miniature family member. How do you plan for something that you cannot predict in time OR emotion? Do you throw caution to the wind and hope that when the occasion arises you'll know what to do, or is it better to start thinking ahead of time about what you want? It all feels very impossible to determine at the moment. For now I suppose, I will just keep enjoying the 9 to 5 hustle (9 to 5!?) and wonder what the future will hold for me and my merry minion.

P to the S: For more on balancing work and motherhood, check out Cup of Jo's recent (awesomely interesting) interview series with some super-powerful mamas.

I want it all.

I cannot stop thinking about THIS ARTICLE that I read yesterday in The Atlantic. As I sat at my desk, letting my lunch get cold and my head cloud over with (worry/ sadness/ connection?) I was overwhelmed by Anne-Marie Slaughter’s words. “Finally!” I thought, “a woman admitting that women can’t have everything, women don’t always want to have everything and whatever it is she wants, we need to work for a world which supports her decision.” (The author says this and so much more with eloquence I cannot even pretend to possess. The article is long, but a very worthwhile read).

As I’ve mentioned before, I spend a lot of time angst-ing (I can’t help it, I’m an angst-er) about pursuit of a fulfilling career and family life. Dr. H and I recently found ourselves falling asleep at the dinner table, in a restaurant, at 10pm, on a weeknight (there is so much wrong with that picture) because I INSISTED on spending a meal together that didn’t involve an open laptop, television or couch. Even without children (or the dog I so desperately desire:) at times I feel the balance is already slipping. And I have also noticed, as I develop my professional self, that the work world doesn’t have much interest in the “loves to cook/craft/write” Merry Meri that is ultimately the truest reflection of who I believe I am. Just because I love my hobbies doesn’t mean I don’t love to work; just because I dream of many babies doesn’t mean I’m not going to have a kickass career… sometimes it just feels like the world isn’t ready for a lady who gets to pursue all of those things, however she chooses. To quote Slaughter, “last I checked, he [Thomas Jefferson] did not declare American independence in the name of life, liberty, and professional success. Let us rediscover the pursuit of happiness, and let us start at home.”

Holy whoa, that was hefty shizz for a Friday wasn’t it!? How can I make it up to you..?

A witty joke?

A totally rad sea lion?

Whatevs yo, I'm OUT!

Yours, Mine, Ours

Fingers are just like families... stuck together for life.

This past weekend I was in Atlanta with my "new" family. By marrying Dr. H, I acquired not just a fabulous husband, but several older siblings, 2 sets of in-laws, 2 adorable nieces and 1 awesome little nephew (quite the package deal!) After years of knowing "his" family and loving "my" family, we suddenly had "our" family (now I will NEVER remember all the birthdays!)

Though there doesn’t seem to be any way to match the lifetime (literally) I’ve spent with my parents and Sis, I'm amazed by the bond I feel with the family connected to me through my husband. The stereotype of nightmarish siblings and monster-in-laws may exist for a reason, but I want to let you all know that fairytale endings exist too! There's a chance your spouse's family will be just as awesome (and at times lovingly annoying) as your own. As I lounged late night between my completely passed out “new” big brother and sister (I suck at couch sleeping), I felt completely at home, loved and in love. For that I'm very grateful.

Dim Sum Sunday.

Take me down to Chinatown

My Dad introduced me to one of the best NYC culinary adventures a foodie could hope for:  dim sum. At least once a month my family heads to Chinatown for a feast of dumplings, bok choy, pork buns, stuffed eggplant... (getting hungry yet!?) Chinatown is an amazing cultural experience in itself (Dr. H and I love wandering among the "locals" buying produce, fresh seafood and turtles (yup, they're from Chinatown) along Canal Street) but it's the dim sum that keeps us coming back time and time again. 

Oriental Garden: Elizabeth btw Canal and Bayard
Show up before noon or the wait can be up to an hour!

While I'm sure there are a ton of awesome dim sum spots in Manhattan's chinatown, we are Oriental Gardens people. Discovered by Dad, we never stray to the bigger/fancier looking dim sum joint next door. 

This is the scene around 10:30am; by noon it's jam packed. That
silver cart makes its way through the room.

Start off with some fresh brewed green leaf tea while you wait
for the cart to arrive.

Waiters circulate the dining room with small plates (vegetables, soups, spring rolls) and you can order any of the (extremely) well reviewed szechuan chinese dishes. The silver cart works the room with a variety of dumplings and other dim sum traditional dishes. Though we may pass on the chicken's feet (yup) nearly everything that cart brings us is a delicious decision.

Shu mai comes 4 per basket. If you ever go with me,
we'll be grabbing more than one basket from the cart.

Everything about dim sum is smiley.

For each dish or basket they put on your table, you get a stamp (or dollar amount for larger dishes) and I can't think of a better value in NYC than dim sum. We eat our faces off (is there any other way at brunch?!) and it's usually around $15 per person. Though it's definitely not for everyone, if you're an adventurous eater looking for a break from french toast and omelets, go for a Dim Sum Sunday. 

Wishing my Dad, my adventure inspiration and forever tour guide a very Happy Birthday:)