|Good for a laugh (I hope!)|
* For as long as I can remember, I have had random in-the-moment daydreams about socially horrifying scenarios like tripping down the stairs of the auditorium stage at my elementary school graduation or an accidental fart in a meeting with important colleagues. I don't know why my imagination wanders to these potentially embarrassing moments, but it happens ALL THE TIME.
* I have a serious problem with vocabulary in that I frequently make up words (and insist with conviction that they have actual definitions and are real). I also, often (boldly) mispronounce things (e.g., the college "Ole Miss" is pronounced 'Ol Miss not "Ole" as in bring me some more salsa for my tacos. Oops.)
* Probably close to 20 years ago, my best friend and I developed a system for secretly communicating to one another in public that we had snot hanging out of our nose. The system we invented? Bologna = You have something hanging out of your nose; Cheese = All clear (alternatively you could say "Bologna?" as a question if you're curious how your nose is doing and need someone to cheese you). Super discrete right?
* Last week I stole a sprig of cilantro from the grocery store. My dinner recipe called for just a tablespoon and the idea of buying a whole bundle seemed so ridiculous that I snapped off a few leaves and bolted out of the veggie aisle. The guilt has been weighing on me... I had to confess.