Hump Day Distractions

Hellz yes you are granny!

So this week the universe is all like "Come and get it girl!" and I'm like "Ready or not, here I come!" and it's been exhausting and exhilarating and crazy... and I think I kinda love it:) And even though the insanity led to a quiet day around these parts yesterday, fret not... this bloggity blog has a place deep in my heart so it ain't goin no where!! I hope that all of you are having a similarly inspiring week filled with new opportunities, exciting activities and some delightful hump day distractions. xox

* Ever stand on the beach and stare out to the ocean and wonder who is across from you!?

* If you live in NYC and like the Rangers, THIS is probably your best chance at scoring tickets to the Stanley Cup Final (plus the money goes to charity!!)
* The perfect fruit salad to whip up for your next summer BBQ 

* I think I just might need you in my closet :)

* Dear God Mets, this is disgusting (also, you make me SO proud).
* Zosia Mamet (Girls) makes an excellent point about being unafraid of not leaning in.

* I have absolutely always wondered what goes on inside the dishwasher... and now I know.

* I personally go big or go home when it comes to fast food, but in case you're a healthier human than I, there's THIS.

* These ads are brilliant, thought provoking, powerful and (hopefully) effective.

* Every single one of these is true (and I'm not even technically 30 yet!!!)

Who run the world!? (#BanBossy)

 

Have you ever heard someone call a little boy bossy? What about a male colleague or friend? I never thought much about this until reading (the awesome) Sheryl Sandberg's book, Lean In (READ it!), but when she talked about this interesting social "habit" of labeling outspoken girls who exhibit leadership skills as bossy, it really struck a chord with me. You see, I was definitely a "bossy" little girl (shocking I know!) but in hind site, I was probably just louder than many other kids, always willing to volunteer my ideas, plans or take the lead. These are all valuable life skills that immediately take on a negative connotation when the person who possesses them is described as "bossy."

Well this morning, I was pumped when my Facebook feed was filled with people sharing the #BanBossy campaign website (yay social media!). BanBossy.com is a partnership between LeanIn.org and the Girls Scouts of America which serves not only as a platform to raise awareness about our cultural use of the word "bossy", but also hard facts about the impact it has on young girls as well as leadership resources for women, parents, teachers, managers and troop leaders (aka, everyone).

Did you know:

- Girls are twice as likely as boys to worry that leadership roles will make them seem "bossy"

- Both boys and girls believe it's easier for men to become leaders

- Women make up just 19% of US Congress, 5% of Fortune 1,000 CEOs and 17% of corporate boards

I cannot tell you how much I take this campaign to heart. Even though my "bossy girl" fears may not show on the outside, on the inside I'm often riddled with self-consciousness, worried I am "too in charge" or make too many suggestions or plans in group situations. Well bossy girl no more!!!! Today is the day I work harder to put my own insecurities to rest and champion this campaign to help all the little ladies in my life. Because, to quote my "run the world" sassy female idol Beyonce, "I'm not bossy, I'm the boss"* 

To visit Ban Bossy, click HERE.

To listen to Sheryl Sandberg talk about why "bossy" should be banned, click HERE.

And for one more great article on this campaign, HERE.

*bow down bitches.

Thinking Out loud

Baby love.

Recently I've been having conversations with fellow ambitious young women, all of whom are in the "years of the Baby Inquisition" and many of whom feel a desire to wait  a little longer before starting a family. The striking similarity in these conversations is a word that keeps coming up: selfish. "I want to be selfish for another year" or "I'm not done selfishly putting my own needs first". The word selfish is uttered with a pang of guilt or concern, like there's something wrong with feeling unprepared to jump on the baby train despite the ticking of biological clocks. (Even Destiny's Child isn't immune to feeling selfish!) So obviously this  got me thinking...

In a culture where women are finally being encouraged to chase their dreams, both personal and professional, in the same ways as men, it's no wonder that the uniquely female experience of pregnancy, followed by maternity leave and child-rearing is difficult for us lady folk to place. Is it really selfish to want to pursue your career goals without the additional responsibility of a child? Is it selfish to not want to share your husband's attention or affections, especially when many of today's women are getting married later in life than previous generations? These things feel pretty reasonable to me.

I often hear my generation's mothers and grandmothers speak wistfully about forgotten or never pursued careers and desires because of "the times". And while I have no life goal more important than my desire to raise healthy, happy children, as I read about "leaning in", "having it all" and "work/life balance", I find myself so confused and overwhelmed by problems and uncertainty that's it's hard not to yearn a bit for simpler times. This is not to say I want to go back to women in college getting their MRS. or women being shut out of certain career paths (hellllz no!) but our gender's social progress has created incredible competition between personal ambition and maternal instinct. With gender "norms" quickly becoming a thing of the past, I feel myself and other fabulous young ladies really struggling to avoid feeling guilty about whatever path we choose. 

I don't have answers to any of these questions, or even advice for people floating in this boat along with me, but I can help continue the conversation by talking about it. Because for me, thinking out loud is a way of leaning in to find balance and maybe someday, to have it all.