A little makeup might do the dudes good...

Just a simple 18 step process gentlemen (note: NOT my actual makeup routine!)

Last night, as Dr. H plodded off to bed while I remained in the bathroom washing makeup off my face, I got to thinking about the fact that men don't wear makeup. Now I wasn't facewash-daydreaming about this concept in a gender norms, political/feministy way; I was literally just wondering "why don't men bother to use products that enhance their features and mask things that make them feel self-conscious!?" Because you have to admit, even though makeup can be a biotch to apply and remove, when properly utilized, the impact of makeup is pret-ty fantastic (goodbye blemish, hello gently flushed cheeks and long dark lashes!) 

As I moved on to patting dry and applying moisturizer (I told you I have a ridiculous bedtime routine) I actually started to feel a little bad for men, who, because of social norms, don't really get to enjoy the benefits of dark-circle concealers or face brightening lip glosses. Though I imagine most men don't want all (or any!) of these things complicating their  lives, as a lady, it's funny to imagine how much better dudes might look if they took some notes from those helpful folks over at Sephora. Seriously. Because as my mom once said, "make-up is such a pain in the ass, but man does it make ya look good!!"

Sweet dreams (eventually).

How about we start at EAT & skip to SLEEP TIME?
ps- "pyjamas"?

How long does it take you to get ready for bed at night? If I want my head to hit the pillow at the same time as Dr. H, I need at least a ten minute head start... There's teeth brushing and face washing, contact removing, moisturizer applying and medicine taking, also one final pee, apartment door locking and last but not least, night time hair styling (usually a high bun or pony to ensure maximum morning hair glamour). It's my routine and I can't see how to remove a single step. Even on my most exhausted (or lazy or boozy) nights, I never ever climb into bed without at least a clean face and minty mouth. Dr. H on the other hand can make it from couch to comatose in about 3-minutes flat. I envy his no fuss existence.

And the worst part of it is that sometimes I stay up too late, lingering on the couch in front of the television, out of sheer apathy for my own routine! I think "ooooh it's so annoying to get ready for bed, I'll just put it off for a few minutes longer..." (because contact lens removal is that difficult?) Is it insanity that I'm so routinized that I can't even go to sleep without checking things off a to-do list or are my steps truly essential!? Maybe someday we'll have a magical way to be cleaned and primped and bed-ready in seconds, but until then, I'll see you in my dreams (eventually:)