As has become tradition, my early January Us Weekly magazines have been touting tight celebrity bodies alongside diet tricks and workout tips that are going to give me "new body confidence" through "speedy workouts" just like my favorite celebs. I always eye roll at these stories because celebs have insurmountable unfair advantages when it comes to their appearance... setting aside wealth, their job description pretty much includes looking good in pictures meaning they can reasonably dedicate a LOT of time to working out and call it part of their day job (just like me and you right!?)
As I was sitting on "the throne" reading my latest issue (is there any other place people read Us Weekly!?) I found the latest article suggesting that I try some of the stars' stay slim tricks particularly laughable and I had to share.
Celeb: Taraji P Henson
Diet Secret: "En route to daily workouts with pro trainer... the 2- hour jogging and core-focused sessions, along with a clean diet..."
Merry Meri takeaway: Excellent. I've always wondered how to look hot like her and turns out all it will take is clearing out 14 hours of my week to exercise with a private trainer. Why did I never think of that!?
Celeb: Kate Hudson
Diet Secret: "...bounces between hot yoga, cycling, dance classes and Pilates.. while her diet remains steady: no meat, dairy or gluten."
Merry Meri takeaway: Eliminate 80% of what you eat and try every fitness trend out there and you'll look like Kate in no time. Piece of cake (errr, celery, that's gluten free right!?)
Celeb: Demi Lovato
Diet Secret: "on her 2015 tour Demi brought along a SoulCycle instructor, a stationary bike and another fitness pro. She did SoulCycle classes twice a day and worked out with the trainer... she followed a high-protein, low carb diet... Her hard work paid off, she tells Us: I feel more confident than ever."
Merry Meri takeaway: Want to feel more confident than ever? Bring the workout you can barely afford with you everywhere and spend several hours, 7 days per week, doing it. Thank goodness they published this secret so we can all get confident like Demi!
Celeb: Khloe Kardashian
Diet Secret: "'I don't eat dairy'... also endures hourlong squat-heavy sessions with [trainer] 5 times per week. Gluten is also banned."
Merry Meri takeaway: Another celeb finally sharing weightloss's best kept secret - cut out a ton of what you eat and spend several days a week with a personal trainer. How ever did they figure out these secrets to looking fit and trim!?